2010 Jan 31 - Getting Along (Phil. 4:2-3)

Paul mentions a problem in the Philippian church. Two women are in disagreement, and Paul asks the church to help settle the difficulty.

Paul doesn't go into any detail on the disagreement, so it is easier to make application to our own lives. The class noted that women must have had a much more prominent role in the church than in the general society. In those days, women were not important enough for their disagreements to be noted officially. Paul's mention of their argument is actually an acknowledgment that women were considered leaders, even co-workers, in the Kingdom.

One thing the class stressed repeatedly: Both these women were recognized as Christians, as Christ-followers. Their names were both written in the book of life. Christians must fight the temptation to de-Christianize their opponents in Kingdom work. Two devout women were on opposite sides of some issue. That can still happen today. Even though we take positions that we believe are consistent with God's work, we mustn't assume that opponents are not in God's will.

Conflict is not only possible in the Kingdom, it is to be expected.

Differing personalities react differently. That's what differences are. Our backgrounds differ, our discipleship paths differ, and our priorities differ.

The influence of the church is harmed when members cannot resolve their differences, however. When the differences are emphasized, we are stressing the human side of the church, not the spiritual. There certainly is a human side to the Kingdom. God invites a bunch of fallen people into the Kingdom. While the goal is transformation into people fit for heaven, the transformation isn't complete in this life.

During the transformation, our humanity is still evident.

But when we focus our attention on our human differences, we lose sight of the fantastic spiritual opportunities that are ours in the Kingdom.

Also, so long as the church is focused on the problem areas, it is distracted from its central mission of making disciples.

We all have a personal responsibilty to control our responses to disagreements. With God's help, the following steps may be useful.

1. Talk TO others, not ABOUT others.
2. Keep a forgiving spirit.
3. Find something good to say about the other side, and say it. (Second-hand compliments are very effective.)
4. Stay open-minded.
5. Matthew 18 outlines several steps, including keeping the disagreement as private as possible.
6. Gossip makes it worse, even if what is said is true.
7. Refuse to be a lightning rod. (Don't attract disagreements.)

Finally, the class agreed that it we need to get to know the person we disagree with. We need to really listen to them in order to understand their motives.