As We Forgive Our Debtors

January 16, 2011
Matthew 6:12
Forgiveness

We are to forgive others. What sorts of things might we have to forgive?

• Words that are bitter, mean-spirited, or sarcastic
• Deception
• Exploitation
• False witness
• Gossip (spreading unkind stories, whether true or not)
• Oppression (the example of children was given; they have no voice in what happens to them)
• Neglect (reminding us that some sins are what has been undone rather than what was deliberately done)
• Betrayal
• Intent (even if what actually happened wasn't so bad, the intent to harm needs to be forgiven)

The parable of the unforgiving servant was shared from Matthew 18:23-35.

• Keep forgiving
• You've been forgiven so much
• Cascading of forgiveness
• Don't keep track

We have been forgiven as a gift from God. Doesn't telling us we have to forgive make it sound like we have to earn our salvation?

• Forgiveness is an attitude of the heart. The heart must be changed. Penitence (including humility) is simply an evidence of the new attitude we've received.
• We can live with or without grace. But that grace works in both directions. If we've received forgiveness, we will be forgiving.
• Willingness to forgive others demonstrates God's grace at work in our lives.
• Sinners who recognize their own need of grace become forgiving.
• Do we have the faith of a servant or the faith of a child?

Before we forgive someone else, should they first ask for forgiveness? (We raised the question, but did discuss this.)

Does forgiveness mean you stay around for more abuse?

• We are to use the sense and wisdom that God has given us.
• Forgiveness is not reconciliation; the Bible gives instructions on how to confront those who need to be confronted.
• Forgiveness is not condoning, nor forgetting. But we should no longer feel (or cherish) the sting. We are not asked to become doormats; we are still challenged to create justice. And we are not to remain a victim.
• We need divine assistance to forgive.
• Forgiveness does not mean you go back completely to where the relationship was before.

Authentic repentance (on both sides of the issue) may restore a relationship.

David shared a fable from Lewis Smedes' Forgive and Forget. "Magic eyes" are needed to see how to forgive. Those eyes are a description of seeing the world from God's perspective.

Lack of forgiveness leaves us in bondage. Forgiveness, like faith, may need constant renewal.

A final example was given from a book by Morris Weigelt and Dee Freeborn, Living the Lord's Prayer. A couple was able to forgive the murderer of the wife's brother. The forgiveness made them able to adopt the murderer's child, accepting the child as their own.